chapter 4.17
August
After I'd confessed I was bi, Dad sighed and leaned back in the sofa.
Fuck. I couldn't believe I'd just said that to him. If you looked up "heterosexual male" in the dictionary, it'd read: Seth Gallagher. And Pongan culture wasn't kind to people like me. I knew that by some of the comments my uncles would make. God. Was my dad like that, too? But his best friend was gay, so that couldn't be it.
My skin felt like it was on fire. What was he going to say?
"What happened to make you decide this?" he asked, finally. "Last I checked, you were securely swimming in skirts. At least in San Myshuno."
I heard it in his voice. Disappointment. Anger. I felt so small at that moment.
But I couldn't hide it anymore. It was out and we had to discuss it even if our relationship took a hit. "Um...I...kissed Beau."
He let out a slow breath, picking at the cuff of his jeans. "I knew there was something fishy going on between you. I told your mom but she wouldn't believe me. You should have never had him over to spend the night, August. That shit's not right."
"But Dad, it just happened. We've only been friends this whole time. Honest."
"I've seen how cozy you are with each other. It's not like I'm shocked about it, but damn it, August, you expect me to believe that?"
"Yeah, I do. I mean, it just happened yesterday. I freaked out and we had a fight. He's not speaking to me now."
Staring at the floor, Dad just sat there. I didn't know what to say either. The silence shouted all around us. He wouldn't accept this new part of me. I knew it.
At last, he said, "So...why are you freaking out, August?"
My eyes widened. "How would you feel if you'd just found out something like this? It...changes things."
He shrugged. "Oh, I don't know...it didn't change E much when the same thing happened to him."
"Yeah, but he's gay. I mean...like didn't he know this all along? Beau said he knew from the time he was a kid."
Dad shook his head. "E's bi, too. In fact, he went out with just as many women as I did back in the day. Did you know we both had a crush on your mom at the same time?"
This shocked me. "No shit? Uncle E dated women? I can't see it."
"It's true. But then Jay came along and...I don't know...he just rolled with it. I'm not saying it's something that's common, but, if this is how you feel, August, I don't know why you're so upset."
This reaction from him was so unexpected, I was blown away. "Look, it's just I don't want our friendship to change. I might not be like Uncle E either. I can't... 'roll with it'. I guess, I'm just...scared."
He nodded. "I get it and that's fine to feel like that. I mean...I honestly can't imagine, but..." he rubbed his jeans awkwardly. "Hey, if you want to talk about it with someone who's been there, I'm sure E would love to hear from you." Then he patted my back and added, "You know it doesn't change a thing with me or your mom or anyone else that matters. We'll support you no matter what. Okay, son?"
A smile of relief spread across my face. I blinked and stood, elated the conversation didn't go as horribly as I'd first thought. "Yeah, okay, Dad."
He wrapped me in one of his massive bear hugs and said, "I love you."
"Me, too."
The next day, Ethan came over to hang out. As usual, I beat his ass in basketball.
"You want to stop wailing on me and talk already?" he asked out of the blue.
Dropping the basketball, I squinted at him. "What do you mean?" I really didn't want to talk about Beau and definitely not with Ethan.
"Dude. I went out with Beau last night. I know everything."
"Listen, I'm just not at a point where I need to discuss this with you, man. So, let's finish playing hoops or do something else. I'm not in the talking mood."
"That shit might work on your other friends, but not on me. Dude. Beau is like your best friend. You have this crazy connection I can't begin to understand. So, why do you want to throw it all away over some damned kiss?"
"I'm not the one throwing anything away. He is."
"You know Beau's a diva. He needs help from you."
"I've called him like twenty times, texted, and when I did finally talk to him, he threw me out of his house. I can't give him what he wants, Ethan. I won't date him."
Ethan raised his hand. "Yeah...I could read between the lines on why. I think it's a wise move not to get involved because it'll ruin your friendship."
"See? Try telling him that, though."
"Let him cool off for a bit. He'll come around. And I'll try to talk some sense into him, okay?"
I lifted the side of my mouth. "Yeah...okay. Thanks, Ethan."
"What are friends for?" He patted my shoulder and we knuckle bumped. I could only hope Beau would listen to him.
But as the months passed, our relationship ebbed like the waning tide along the shore. I sat with Chase and Manuel at lunch because if I tried to sit at our table, he'd leave.
I got the feeling he avoided our normal hallways at school, too. I didn't have any classes with him, so he all but disappeared from my life. Ethan told me Beau was really hurt and even he couldn't get through to him.
Beau was a stubborn ass sometimes. I knew that about him, but how could he ditch me like this? It gnawed my insides making me feel a heaviness I'd never experienced before.
One thing that came out of it was my relationship with Briar increased. It was like she took pity on me or something. So, every morning, she'd wait by my locker to walk me to my first period since I used to do that with Beau. And our connection grew. She was such a sweet, caring spirit. Before I knew what was happening, the sadness I felt about Beau was filled in by her warmth.
On Saturday, I decided to show Briar how special she made me feel. She went nuts over kittens, so when I saw this Siamese in the pet shop, I had to snap him up. His litter had been donated, so it was, in a sense, a rescue. Briar wouldn't want a store bought pet that could come from a puppy mill.
After I'd picked up the kitten, I hustled over to her apartment. I knew Beau would be at work. Briar had told me he'd switched to day shifts on the weekends so I was safe. I wasn't in the mood to have any awkward encounters with him.
Just as I climbed the steps, she popped in front of me. "August! This is a surprise. What're you doing in my neck of the woods?"
All of a sudden, I felt jittery as I realized almost for the first time how bluer than blue her eyes were. They gripped me like a tight vice. "Um...er..." Why had my mind gone blank and my mouth wouldn't move right? I'd talked to her every day for the past few months. What was so different now? My face warmed as my heart sped up.
"What's that cutie pie in your hands?" she asked. "Can I hold him?"
"Oh, um, sure." I dropped the fuzz ball in her hands as she ushered me inside.
"What a wittle bitty lamb! What are you going to name him?"
I shrugged, now feeling self conscious about this gift. "I don't know. I was thinking you should name him. He's yours."
"What? I mean, why, August? I think he's precious and all, but I can't possibly keep one. I foster strays. You know that."
She brought the kitten over to the window seat. I sank into the cushion beside her.
"Well, he's a rescue," I offered, "if that makes a difference. And I don't know...when I saw him, I just knew I had to get him for you."
"Get him...as in bought him?"
"I only paid for his shots. He was free. I'm telling you, he's a rescue. I think he's a siamese mix. If you don't want him, I could find someone else to take him."
The kitten squirmed in her hands, nuzzling and licking her neck. She giggled. "Oh...okay, okay, I'll take you. With a sweet scratchy tongue like that, how could I say no?"
"See? His charm is hard to resist. You're the perfect couple. Now you can ditch what's-his-face."
"His name is Daniel. And you'll have to do better than that to break us up, August. But good try. Speaking of breaking up, Beau gets off work in a few hours. I think it's time you two had a talk."
"Briar...we've gone over this how many times? He won't talk to me. I've tried."
She glared. "You haven't tried at all. I've seen it. I didn't say anything before because I wanted you two to work things out, but it's clear both of you are too stubborn. And since you're only a block away from his work, it's time you settled this. Tonight."
"Why should I be the one to force it? He's the one who bolts whenever he sees me."
"Because. It was your blunder that did the damage. You knew Beau has had this enormous crush on you and when you kissed him like that, his dream came true. Then you ripped it apart, leaving him so hurt. Can't you understand that?"
I shook my head feeling out of control. "I just...well, I mean, yeah, you're right, but...how the hell do I fix it when he won't see me?"
She lifted the kitten. "I think something like this would do the trick."
Cocking my head, I asked, "Get him a kitten?"
"No, he's more of a dog person. There's an adorable black puppy at the shelter. If we hurry, I bet you can get him before they close."
And that was how I ended up at the pier with a puppy in my hands and a box full of prayers in my heart.
"Okay, little guy...I want you to turn on the charm. We've got our work cut out for us tonight."
*****
Sorry I've been AWOL. My computer died and I had to get it fixed and purchase one that can handle the sims better. That said, I won't be receiving it until December 13. But I have screenshots enough to produce one chapter a week with a bonus chapter, hopefully, next week. I'll announce that if it happens so you can be looking for it. With much good luck, I hope to have another chapter to you by Tuesday of next week.
Once I have my new computer, I hope to pump out three chapters a week. I will let you know the schedule once I figure that out. Thank you for your patience!!!
Sorry I've been AWOL. My computer died and I had to get it fixed and purchase one that can handle the sims better. That said, I won't be receiving it until December 13. But I have screenshots enough to produce one chapter a week with a bonus chapter, hopefully, next week. I'll announce that if it happens so you can be looking for it. With much good luck, I hope to have another chapter to you by Tuesday of next week.
Once I have my new computer, I hope to pump out three chapters a week. I will let you know the schedule once I figure that out. Thank you for your patience!!!