chapter 3.41
Siobhan
Squeezing Theo's hand, I said, "It's all right. I think Seth just wants to talk."
Still watching Seth warily, he said, "Just flag me if you need me. I'll be right over there." He pointed to the fountain in the middle of the park.
I nodded, then squashed down the hurt feelings that wanted to overcome me again. I didn't want to hear what Seth had to say because I wasn't sure if I could handle it.
Walking up to me, he asked, "How are you doing?" then he tucked my hair behind my ear like he often did when we were together.
I shook my head and shrugged as my throat tightened. It was so hard being close to him like this.
"Listen," he started, "I...I just wanted to tell you what happened. You never let me talk to you before and I really need to get this off my chest before I go."
"Go?" I asked, wishing I hadn't. I knew what his next words would be.
"Yeah...um, when I went to Pongo, I almost lost both my mom and dad. It was touch and go the whole time. As it is, my father is still in the hospital. He's not doing well, Siobhan."
I knew all too well what that felt like. "I'm sorry," I whispered, trying to keep my emotions under control.
"When Moama recovered, she begged me to stay in Pongo with her. If Dad didn't make it, she'd be lost. And then she pleaded with me to do my duty and marry Io. I...um..." He stopped and paused. Maybe he didn't want to tell me the rest. I wasn't going to make him.
Then he went on, "God...it was just...I don't know...seeing her like that, I just couldn't refuse. Not this time. I realized I'd been running from my responsibilities to my family all these years. I don't belong here, Siobhan. I'm sorry."
"So, you're moving to Pongo?" I asked.
"Yes. Since I just finished my residency, I'm going to set up a clinic there. My little island needs my services. That's what I was supposed to do in the first place. Not stay here."
Tears trickled down my face. I'd never see him again. Then I broke down. I couldn't help it. I still loved him with every inch of my being. How could I let him go?
Grabbing me, Seth whispered in my ear, "I'm so sorry, kitten. I love you so much...I didn't want this to happen. I didn't."
But he didn't love me enough.
*****
I was so happy to see Theo, I jumped into his arms. After Seth had left that day, Theo had been so sweet to me, not caring that I'd been so emotionally distraught at what Seth had said. And he was patient, not pushing me too hard. We just went out as friends the first few times and then I couldn't help but get swept away by him. Theo was always there for me. He would never hurt me. He would never leave. And little by little as time wore on, I became very attached to him. Like my favorite pair of blue jeans I could always wear and feel good in.
After we dated for a while, Theo had to go to Newcrest to visit his parents over winter break. I felt so lost then. I hadn't realized how attached I'd become. And although I was with my family, I felt like Theo needed to be there, too. I'd wanted them to meet him, but it just didn't work out.
"Hey!" he said as I crashed into him. We decided to meet at this new gym on the lower east side to check it out. We were going to create a similar gym with my idea of Hot Bod, but had a lot of research to do. First, we were going to visit a bunch of upscale gyms. Then we needed to check out hair salons, spas, and high end tattoo parlors. It was going to take us a long time, but I was excited about our new venture together.
I was so happy to see Theo, I jumped into his arms. After Seth had left that day, Theo had been so sweet to me, not caring that I'd been so emotionally distraught at what Seth had said. And he was patient, not pushing me too hard. We just went out as friends the first few times and then I couldn't help but get swept away by him. Theo was always there for me. He would never hurt me. He would never leave. And little by little as time wore on, I became very attached to him. Like my favorite pair of blue jeans I could always wear and feel good in.
After we dated for a while, Theo had to go to Newcrest to visit his parents over winter break. I felt so lost then. I hadn't realized how attached I'd become. And although I was with my family, I felt like Theo needed to be there, too. I'd wanted them to meet him, but it just didn't work out.
"Hey!" he said as I crashed into him. We decided to meet at this new gym on the lower east side to check it out. We were going to create a similar gym with my idea of Hot Bod, but had a lot of research to do. First, we were going to visit a bunch of upscale gyms. Then we needed to check out hair salons, spas, and high end tattoo parlors. It was going to take us a long time, but I was excited about our new venture together.
"Did you miss me that much?" he asked, squeezing me in a warm hug.
"Why? Didn't you miss me?" I asked. Maybe I was being too clingy.
"You know I did." Pulling me closer, he said, "Come here."
Theo wrapped me up and kissed me like no one was around. My mind reeled back to all the moments we've shared up until now.
How he loved all the things I did. Music. Art. Jogging. He also really took an interest in my design work and placed some of my art around his place.
I enjoyed just sitting there studying our boring business law texts together in his lavish apartment that his parents let him use.
And I chuckled to myself now about how focused he is. Last time we studied together, I tried to give him a kiss but he didn't even respond to me.
Pissed, I tossed the book on the couch, thinking he didn't care. But I was wrong.
He dropped what he was doing and said he was sorry. I had never dated such an unselfish man. So caring. And I felt guilty for even thinking about getting mad at him.
During finals week, I was a mess. I pulled two all-nighters, trying to get my grades up from the weeks of depression I'd suffered and my hit or miss attendance.
Theo was right there with me, studying, too, and taking care of me.
When I couldn't keep my eyes open, he just encouraged me that I'd studied enough.
I was so lucky to have him with me.
And he was the most gentle lover I'd ever experienced.
Like I was the only woman in the world. So tender. Most men want to jump right into sex, but he knew how to caress me and make me feel loved.
When I cuddled close with him, I felt so safe. Something I needed after my last two failed relationships.
"Come on now, Siobhan!" Theo exclaimed as I tried out the climbing wall. "You're going to hurt yourself."
"Stop worrying, Theo! It's perfectly safe!" We definitely needed some of these in our gym. I was having a blast.
"I'm not worried. I just don't want to take you to the emergency room. That fall is real."
Hopping off, I said, "Oh, come on, Theo, it's like three feet. That's the beauty of this type of rotating wall. You climb but don't get that high. We need one in our gym."
"You want our clients to fall on their asses? Okay then."
"They won't fall," I said. "I promise."
"Well, if you really want it, I'll check into it and see what the insurance is like."
"You will?" I asked, clapping. "What changed your mind?"
"I loved the look on your face when you were climbing that godzilla. If you don't mind broken bones, I guess I don't either."
We finished our night jogging on the latest treadmill. I couldn't wait to put all of our ideas together for our new spa/gym/salon. I figured we'd have the plans drawn up by graduation then we'd go to work on building it. I was the creative investing partner while Theo would handle all the start up administration and legal matters. Theo cautioned it could take a year to finish, but I didn't care. Knowing what I was doing after my degree really made me happy. I was going to hopefully build a line of gyms like this. My fashion design work would have to take a backseat at the moment.
Being a business woman and entrepreneur was my new passion.