chapter 2.55
Jackson
Luci and I stayed out all night just laughing and talking. It was great. Finally, I took her back to her hotel. I could tell a somber mood had settled over her. Holding her hand, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
She looked down. “I’ve had a great time, Jackson.”
Stroking her face, I said, “Me, too...but...” I could hear the “but” in her tentative voice.
Luci and I stayed out all night just laughing and talking. It was great. Finally, I took her back to her hotel. I could tell a somber mood had settled over her. Holding her hand, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
She looked down. “I’ve had a great time, Jackson.”
Stroking her face, I said, “Me, too...but...” I could hear the “but” in her tentative voice.
“But, this just won’t work out. I...I don’t want to start something I know I wouldn’t be happy with. You’re not at a stage where you can settle down and...” Her eyes darted around as she lifted a shoulder.
I shook my head. “Hey...it’s fine. I get it.” I hated hearing her say that, but knew she was right. How could I ask her or anyone for that matter to sit around and wait on me to come back every few months?
I shook my head. “Hey...it’s fine. I get it.” I hated hearing her say that, but knew she was right. How could I ask her or anyone for that matter to sit around and wait on me to come back every few months?
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Pulling her to me, I said, “Don’t be sorry.” I should have known my sudden invitation to date me wouldn't go over with her. Luci was too level headed. What was I thinking? I was just not good enough for anyone and that thought scared me. I desperately wanted what my parents had but with who I was in life, could that even be possible?
Pulling her to me, I said, “Don’t be sorry.” I should have known my sudden invitation to date me wouldn't go over with her. Luci was too level headed. What was I thinking? I was just not good enough for anyone and that thought scared me. I desperately wanted what my parents had but with who I was in life, could that even be possible?
“I wish things were different. If I lived in San Myshuno...”
“Shh...” I said. “It probably wouldn’t change things that much.” Trying to lighten the mood, I said, “Hey, when are you leaving for Windenburg?”
“At ten this morning.”
“Is it okay if I see you off then? You have to promise me to keep in touch, at least.”
Giving me a half smile, she said, “I’d like that.”
“How about this? I’ll make sure to visit your office the next time we’re in Windenburg. Make your jerk of a boss give you a promotion.”
She laughed, her face lighting up for the first time since we’d left the park. “Okay.”
*****
When I got back to the penthouse, Clarke and Manu pounced on me.
“Dude,” Manu said. “Mako’s been crying all night. Why’d you break up with her like that and then run off? What she said was right. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah,” Clarke confirmed.
“Shh...” I said. “It probably wouldn’t change things that much.” Trying to lighten the mood, I said, “Hey, when are you leaving for Windenburg?”
“At ten this morning.”
“Is it okay if I see you off then? You have to promise me to keep in touch, at least.”
Giving me a half smile, she said, “I’d like that.”
“How about this? I’ll make sure to visit your office the next time we’re in Windenburg. Make your jerk of a boss give you a promotion.”
She laughed, her face lighting up for the first time since we’d left the park. “Okay.”
*****
When I got back to the penthouse, Clarke and Manu pounced on me.
“Dude,” Manu said. “Mako’s been crying all night. Why’d you break up with her like that and then run off? What she said was right. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah,” Clarke confirmed.
“Really? Then why was she in my bed in Noah’s arms...in her underwear?”
“We were playing strip poker. She lost and by the time we were done, we all passed out up there. Sorry it was in your room, but we bounced around all night like that. You really missed a fun time. Noah is Lane’s best bro. Mako didn’t invite him.”
“It’s true, man,” Clarke said.
“It’s true, man,” Clarke said.
“Whatever, guys. She’s slept with Noah countless times in the past. She should have cuddled with someone else. I’m done discussing it.”
I pushed past them, heading to my room, but then a part of me knew I needed to talk with Mako. She obviously didn’t understand how I felt. We just weren’t right for each other even if she didn’t do anything wrong in her eyes.
Searching the house for her, I finally found her in the party room.
Watching her look so sad tugged at me. I put my hands in my pockets and sighed.
I pushed past them, heading to my room, but then a part of me knew I needed to talk with Mako. She obviously didn’t understand how I felt. We just weren’t right for each other even if she didn’t do anything wrong in her eyes.
Searching the house for her, I finally found her in the party room.
Watching her look so sad tugged at me. I put my hands in my pockets and sighed.
Sitting next to her, I said, “Hey...we need to talk.”
She wiped her eyes and said, “Were you with Luci all night?”
“Yeah, but we’re just friends, Mako.” I left out the part that I asked Luci to date me.
She wiped her eyes and said, “Were you with Luci all night?”
“Yeah, but we’re just friends, Mako.” I left out the part that I asked Luci to date me.
“Do you still want to break up?” she asked.
“Yeah...I’m sorry, I do. We’re just too different. I’m not happy worrying about you partying too much and honestly, I’ve really thought about things since I went to my folks’ house the other night. I had a long talk with Dakota, and I wondered what my life would be like with you as the mother of my children and seriously, I couldn’t see it. I hate to say that, but it’s true.”
At this she broke down. “How could you say such a mean thing to me?”
“Yeah...I’m sorry, I do. We’re just too different. I’m not happy worrying about you partying too much and honestly, I’ve really thought about things since I went to my folks’ house the other night. I had a long talk with Dakota, and I wondered what my life would be like with you as the mother of my children and seriously, I couldn’t see it. I hate to say that, but it’s true.”
At this she broke down. “How could you say such a mean thing to me?”
“I don’t mean it like that, it’s just...I want someone who is settled in their life. I mean, my life is so transient, I need a person who is my rock. You know? I think you need someone better than me, Mako. You’re a great person and an awesome band mate, but as my soul mate, it just won’t work. I’m not happy and I know I wouldn’t make you happy down the road either. Things like this would just happen over and over again.”
Crying into her hands, she said, “I can’t believe you’re giving up on us. And over something as stupid as a party. It’s not right.”
Crying into her hands, she said, “I can’t believe you’re giving up on us. And over something as stupid as a party. It’s not right.”
Lifting her to her feet, I held her. “I’m sorry, Mako. I wish it were different. I really wanted us to work out. I did. But I believe you’ll find someone who will make you a better person. That’s just not me.”
I dried her eyes with my thumbs then left. There wasn’t more I could say to her that she wanted to hear. It was over and I was glad, but I hated that she was hurting.
As I strode to my room, a weight seemed to lift off me that I didn’t know had burdened me. For once, I felt free. More free since I’d dated Winter or Celia or Sandra. And I was glad Luci told me no. I really didn’t want to date anyone at the moment. My life didn’t need a woman to complicate it. I was going to concentrate on my work and just be a bachelor for a while.
My alarm woke me up in what seemed like a few minutes. I had to race to get to the airport in time to see Luci off.
Traffic was nuts this time of the morning. I weaved in and out of cars when suddenly, I glanced up and saw a van going the opposite direction on a one way road. I honked and tried to swerve but a truck was in the lane next to me.
My alarm woke me up in what seemed like a few minutes. I had to race to get to the airport in time to see Luci off.
Traffic was nuts this time of the morning. I weaved in and out of cars when suddenly, I glanced up and saw a van going the opposite direction on a one way road. I honked and tried to swerve but a truck was in the lane next to me.
There was nowhere to turn.
“Oh no!” I cried.
“Oh no!” I cried.