Warning: Mature content: Nudity, NSFW
Chapter 3.7
Winter
I could feel my heart hammering in my chest as I lead Paxton upstairs to the bar. For some reason, having him here with Jackson gone didn't sit right with me. But we were just friends, I told myself.
And he needed me.
Clinking the ice in the metal shaker, I asked, "So what was it this time?"
,
"I left my dirty socks on the floor of our bedroom."
I stopped shaking the drink. "Paxton. I told you she hated that."
"I know...I screwed up. It's a force of habit. I've always thrown my clothes on the floor of my bedroom my whole life, and I've been trying to change over the years for her. But Luci said I did it on purpose since the socks were on her side of the bed. That I was being abusive. Can you believe that?"
"I left my dirty socks on the floor of our bedroom."
I stopped shaking the drink. "Paxton. I told you she hated that."
"I know...I screwed up. It's a force of habit. I've always thrown my clothes on the floor of my bedroom my whole life, and I've been trying to change over the years for her. But Luci said I did it on purpose since the socks were on her side of the bed. That I was being abusive. Can you believe that?"
"Abusive is rather strong language."
"I know. And that just made me angry. I couldn't help myself but call her names I'm not proud of."
I sighed. "God, I'm sorry, Pax."
"That's not all. After I called her a raging bitch, she told me she didn't love me anymore and to get the hell out. Her words hurt me so badly, Winter. God, I don't want us to break up. I really don't. But how can we move on together when she hates me so much? I have to walk on eggshells around her constantly. And we have a baby coming." His voice broke on that last word.
Leading him over to the table, I placed his drink down in front of him. "Things will blow over. Go home tomorrow morning with a dozen roses in your hand and apologize. If she won't accept it, ask her to go to counseling. Beg her to try, at least for the baby and your kids' sake. She told me she didn't want a divorce."
Pax took off his glasses and wiped his eyes then replaced them. His voice sounded hoarse like he couldn't get out the words. "I...I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here for me to talk about this. I feel so lost."
"I'll always be here for both you and Luci. You know that. I wish things were different."
"Me, too."
He downed his drink then stood, scraping the chair legs against the floor. "I think I should get some sleep. I want to head to the flower shop early."
Rising up, I walked next to him and said, "You're such a good person, Pax. You don't deserve any of this."
Our eyes connected, sending a shiver of electricity through my body. It was like time stopped and my skin tightened.
What was happening?
Pax reached out and stroked the side of my face. "You've been so wonderful."
Without warning, he closed the space between us and gave me a warm, light kiss.
Drawing back almost instantly, he said, "Oh, God...I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that."
Everything was happening so fast, I couldn't think straight. All I knew was this man deserved to be wanted and suddenly it was like the attraction I'd been feeling for him swallowed me up whole like an open mouthed monster swooping down from the sky.
I heard myself say, softly, "No...it's okay."
Without thinking about the consequences, I pulled him toward me and kissed him hungrily. Both of us couldn't get close enough as our tongues intertwined in a delicious dance. He was so good....I could smell his cologne coil around me like smoke, and I breathed him in. For some reason, I needed him as much as he needed me. Jackson had been gone for so long, I was lonely.
And I didn't even know this fact until that moment.
I wanted to show Pax that he was desireable and deserved better than Luci.
And before I knew what was happening, we were both ripping off shirts and pants, kissing and fumbling toward the guest bedroom.
He was an amazing lover.
So gentle and sweet, like I was the only one in the world. It seemed as if the whole room vibrated.
God...when was the last time Jackson and I had made love like this?
I knew it was wrong.
Every fiber in my being screamed at me to stop.
But I just couldn't. Paxton was like crack cocaine.
I was hooked.
Looking into his eyes, I cried inside, all the while, relishing every moment we spent together.
The following morning, I woke up next to a sleeping Pax in the guest bedroom.
And then the events of the night before crushed me like a massive weight, smashing me to dust.
"Oh. My. GOD," I whispered, tears flooding my eyes, thinking about my loving husband. "What have I done?"